i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
