i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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