I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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