Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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