lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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