oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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