i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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