I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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