i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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