Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
