i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
