Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
