I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a search helicopter?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
