my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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