note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
