North Korea, Best Korea!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
