super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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