You really coming over, don't trick.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
