Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
