hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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