I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
