I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
