Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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