how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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