Pappa wants mamma naked
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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