I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
