WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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