Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Pooping to opera.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
