her vagine was all disorganized.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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