So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
