I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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