have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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