So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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