It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
