your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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