I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
