How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
