i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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