Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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