i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
