Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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