there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
