I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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