I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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