she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
