she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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