He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
