he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
