:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
