We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
