She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
